Dorama

[star_swan]

I had about two or three posts I was typing about whatever has been going on this week, thoughts, projects mainly halted by familial drama. :S

I won't go into detail. Suffice to say, I am not really talking to my concert-going friend, Ange, anymore, the one who blew up and then ditched (was that a week ago??? Seems like an age). And I am currently trying to keep various segments of the family from throttling each other. Should I bother? Perhaps I should just let everything explode. Hmm. Sometimes you can't really prevent that from happening and it can be a good thing. A few beneficial explosions I do not mind (I mean I do, but eh), I just do not want people to wind up never speaking to each other ever again.



In other news, spider. Yes. I had this littleish, black, fuzzy spider living in my room. I don't like hurting things unless they pose a real threat. Unless it's a Black Widow or a Brown Recluse which I hardly ever see the former and they never come in. They prefer dry, dusty, hot, outdoor places. Even then I find a way to remove them.

The harmless ones like to come indoors on occasion to look for stuff to eat/do. This one had tiny black stripes on its legs and two little blue dots below its beady eyes where it's mouth is. It looked sort of like a really tiny Aragog! I also have a ginger cat though. The other day it rappelled to the ground. Actually what they seem to do is rappel part way and then crazy free fall to the ground. But they're spiders, right? Really strong and really sturdy. I scooped it up with a book and placed it on a shelf as Bill spotted it and was eager to go torture the poor thing. A couple of times it tried to come back down and I was like, "Uh. No. Go back up. Cat down here, remember?" It either was bothered by my voice or it understood English cause it climbed back up to the ceiling.

Then..later on, I'm playing piano (with headphones on...I have a Casio Privia so as to spare people being driven nuts and I like the privacy), when I feel something soft land on my head. A second later, I think, "That's the spider, isn't it?" So I got up, took the headphones off and fluffed my hair and it dropped to the ground. Needless to say, I put it outside. There's nothing to eat in here anyway. It was making a beeline for my bed and I was like, "Oh, hell no!" I doubt it would harm me but I'd probably squish it on accident.

I watched it crawling along towards one of my flower pots when a bug crossed its path. It did a scarily fast, abrupt about face, determined that it wasn't lunch and then strolled on. "You're a little scary sometimes, Spider, you know that? Brilliant, but scary."

It'll be happier out there.


Aside from that....working very little :( (need to find a job with more and more reliable hours), grocery shopping, playing piano, binge watching Doctor Who, sitting on the patio garden when I have time, and making a frankly unrealistic reading list for 2015, but where's the fun in having a realistic one anyway?

I might dig into my closet (dvds) and binge watch old Nickelodeon tv shows. Family drama makes you feel sort of vulnerable. As I get older, I sort of pine for simpler times, but then I remember that they weren't simpler, merely different. As a kid, you have a lot of worries about being good enough, not upsetting parentals, dragging your arse off to school every morning (and the workload! How the fuck did I ever manage it?? and swim on top of that!), worrying about what you're going to do, yada yada. It's true, bills are less of an issue, but well, I don't have to go to six or seven periods five days a week. Sometimes I think that jobs are better, some days school sounds better. But either way, life wasn't all roses back then.

I am pretty good with how it is now even if it is far from perfect. It's a work in progress. I am starting to realize that is just life all over, possibly forever. "In Progress". You are always rushing to get somewhere to experience things, making plans, but you're never quite "done".

Need to sort out my head today.

Comments

Family Drama and Spiders

[afrozenflower]

Family drama is the worst, honestly. A while ago, my Father and my aunts had this huge fight about something, and while I was trying to calm everyone down, I also wanted to shout at my parents for upsetting my Father cause I knew he was right. And it isn't even because I'm biased. Most of the time, me and my Father never agree on anything and I call him out on anything bad that he does.

Anyway, eventually I just gave up and handled the task to Mother. Then went to my room which was far from the fight, opened a book and tried to forget about everything, They never listen and honestly it is exhausting.

I don't like spiders at all. Usually, I don't like killing anything but when it comes to insects such as spiders and cockroaches, I would do it. (Except maybe if they are large ones because ew. I usually ask someone else to do it then.)

Re: Family Drama and Spiders

[star_swan]

I hate it when you can see both sides and that both parties have a point, but they just aren't listening to one another. >.<;;

[oraien]

It was nice of you to move the spider outside~ Sounds like it might have been a small jumping spider of some kind. Almost certainly Phidippus audax and if so, harmless unless you're possibly SEVERELY allergic to spiders. Spiders are awesome hunters and really good for local eco-systems too~

I'm sorry about family drama. I know it all too well over the last several years, both my parents have lost parents and the resulting Drama has just been so insufferable, I really kind of hate most of my extended family these days, but it's just all the realization of how ugly even people you thought you knew and respected can turn out to be. Don't let it overtake you. Sometimes no matter your best intentions, you can't stop OR help a situation like that.

Watching cartoons is a much better binge~ I always fondly remember how HAPPY watching certain cartoons made me when I was a kid, not that the time was simpler (definitely not) but that those sorts of simpler things were infinitely more PLEASING, I suppose? They did more, anyhow, to take the edge off the rest of it.

[star_swan]

Yeah. I refuse to harm things unless I am in mortal peril.

It's a shame peoples' first reaction is often to squash them. :S
I mean, why???

That and snakes. We have had snakes in the garden, but people are terrified of them as well. They do have an uncanny way of moving, granted, but they're quite vulnerable. Outside of town in the Summer they like to doze off in the middle of the road because it's warm. Once I saw a person off their bike, bent over, trying to talk one into moving so it wouldn't get hit.

The insanely wacky, violent cartoons are pretty mesmerizing. There's something about seeing a cartoon plummet off a building or get stretched to impossible limits that is hypnotic. They just get so ridiculous and your analytical brain just shuts off for awhile. It's so relaxing. :)

Some cartoons have really good plots and characters and they do not seem to be made with a consciousness of the scrutiny that "regular" programs receive. But lately I have been binging on Doctor Who, gloomier episodes which, yeah, why am I doing that??

[oraien]

Maybe you're doing it because Doctor Who rocks and is worth it? I admit that I kind of lost my fire for Who after Matt Smith and I'm just kinda... *tilty hand* on the newer companions and incarnation. 10 was my favorite but 9 was my first?

We've been binging on kitchen shows so I don't even have any criticism XD

I own four snakes myself- 2 ball pythons and 2 corn snakes- and I can't imagine gettinb violent against them even a LITTLE. I think I might have hit a snake while I was driving home from the barn the other day and it made me cry, because damnit, I don't want to leave that kind of footprint on the world.

I wish people could see things like spiders, which don't actually have a BRAIN, and appreciate how amazingly smart and mesmerizing they are to watch! I used to spend hours watching my tarantula move around her enclosure. She was fascinating, and definitely not /dumb/ by any standards.

[star_swan]

I was biking (I used to do this 20 mile loop) and I almost hit a snake. :( It jerked back into the brush at the last second. There was a depression and some hedges and I did not even see it until I screeched the brakes. That bike has a super quiet freewheel. I have frightened birds in the brush.
I was so afraid of running into it that I took a different route back. I really don't like hitting things either. Squirrels regularly catapult themselves in front of bike tires.

Spiders are quite cool. A person in our building had these rose tarantulas!!

I loved Matt Smith's portrayal and the ensemble of people! I have loved all of the New Who, but I agree, they were hard acts to follow and ten years on, things are a bit different.
I am appreciating Twelve the more that I watch and I do like that his TARDIS has bookshelves(!) and a desk and chalkboards even if it is a bit dark in there. It vaguely reminds me of Eight's TARDIS control room.
But, the feel of it, the eps and the story line are oddish and there is something a little bleak in the production values. I am pleasantly surprised though. a lot of folks have either loved it or thought it was awful. I was expecting the latter. Clara is not nearly as bossy or codependent as people have said and the Doctor has a good sense of who he is. I just have a BAD feeling about the end of the season. Like something awful is going to happen to Danny Pink. :S I already know how Missy is.

I do appreciate that stories are contiguous. I want River to reappear. There are rumours that she will be in Series 9. /end babble!

[oraien]

I have only ever hit 3 things in my car, two of which I killed, one of which I THOUGHT I killed but turned out to be dead before I hit it. I HATE hitting things with my car, it makes me so mad/sad/sick to my stomach. We have a lot of dead squirrels on local roads this time of the year and I feel bad about it even when I haven't been the one hitting them.

My spider was a rose-haired tarantula! They're sooo super nifty to watch!

I definitely need to check out the end of Matt Smith's episodes and start on 12 I think- I'm way behind because I'm never watching television anymore with the nightshift and the barn job, etc etc. seems like a pity and while Clara will never top the Ponds, I do want to see how she fares!

[star_swan]

Clara is really cool and sometimes....she has too much work to do. Like I feel that she is a good companion, but the ensemble works really well. I miss there being multiple and visiting companions. it feels a little claustro at times with just the two of them.

it is totally worth watching though whenever you get a spare moment. :)