It's always darkest before the dawn

I started this dreamwidth several years ago as a dumping ground for a story, then a couple of years later, was hijacked by another, somewhat related. It evolved massively. I wrote a bit of it during NaNo 2013. Finished NaNo, but only made it a quarter of the way through the story. It evolved and altered nearly as much if not more. Then I felt myself being called back to the earlier one, set in the same basic time frame.

I was sifting through images and had a massive brainwave that is serving to solidify the first one. Been getting that lately, but what a flood this afternoon! I've sort of been working on them at the same time.

Please, brain, behave. I need to write like I need air right now.

I don't have outside work today, so I am trying to sort my life. It has been a bit difficult to focus in the recent past, but I think that things are getting better again. Ohhh, how lovely would it be if this Summer was a magical, productive Summer like two years ago. I intend to take advantage of the momentum to complete original projects and writing, though fic is quite fun. I do write every day, a lot of it nonsense, but it'd be nice to complete something coherent.

Perhaps I should assign myself drabbles, like writing exercises that force me to focus a bit and then adopt and expand on bits that would work in the story(ies). Whatever I write, no matter how random, it tends to remind me of what I have yet to finish and sort of winds up there, in that universe, for lack of a better word. It is not a sci-fi story, sort of fantasy. But I suppose all books are their own universe.

Felt the desire to write in here and mull over things this morning. It's crisp, clear and cool with a slight breeze.

In the midst of all of the familial crazy, I have been a bit harsh on myself. I feel after a mere week of losing my footing with the story and Russian that I am somehow stagnating. Losing sight of the time table. I know that there will be slow periods where life is hectic. But I am going to sit and open the document and go over things to ensure some sort of movement. And whenever I am doing that, I will listen to a writing playlist or some piece of piano music, some symphony so that I can train my mind onto certain things. I really need to start practicing composing music out of that workbook that I have and the half a dozen theory books. No excuses. I have ideas and I should not wait until I have mastered every scale before jotting things down.

Remembering the staffs still proves annoying. The letters still do not stick, but I need to be better so that I can notate things that I hear and come up with. I'll just keep staring at them until it is such second nature that it overcomes my bizarre wiring (not that I have not already been taking that tack for months).
I might just color the sheet music. It's mine. I bought it. Nobody is going to arrest me for doing it. It might solidify the lettering as well as help me to learn the piece more quickly. YES.

I watched a youtube vid about not having too many tabs open because it creates mental clutter. I am such a tab junkie and while I will not be able to entirely abandon that habit, I think that I can commit to at least finishing my open tabs and leaving no more than two or three open when I close Chrome. Eventually I will get it down to one. I just made my e-mail manageable again! I deleted a bunch of crap and marked a bunch of unread fanfic "for later" until I get over to the site to dedicate some time to reading. I just can't have it all sitting starred in my inbox for weeks. -_-

And the only thing that I can wash my face with lately is WATER. All soaps tend to piss it off. I thought that I looked like hell, so I splashed my face with water and looked a bit better. I simultaneously have oily an dry skin with occasionally red, irritated not quite pimples. As in, my skin is oily underneath the flaking. :( It isn't even that it's dry in some places and oily in others. That at least would be straightforward.

Listening to Lang Lang play. He managed the first one really well, but he sort of bangs on the keys in this one. Hmm. I am so sick of having a cluttered desktop so I am listening to all of the stuff I had just sitting out there everyday as a reminder to listen to it.

My life is full of reminders: reminder tabs, stickies, actual post its, starred e-mails, documents/pics/??? on the desktop, books pulled a few inches out of place on bookshelves, fridge magnets.

It is getting pretty ridiculous.

My goal today is to rid myself of this stuff by doing it or letting it go.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that a big, bushy Robin appeared on my balcony this morning early. I take that as a good sign. Robins are always good to see especially is they start singing.