It's always darkest before the dawn

I really need to hit the sack, but first...

I bought this tea sampler of Kusmi teas. They are Russian, but made in France. o___o They're incredible! I sampled four out of the five today >.>. At one point I was flying on tea. Told Kit about it, and gave them my live reaction(s). It was a good way of seeing just how strong they are as well. SO far Troika and Prince Vladimir are strong enough to have at breakfast with milk. Nearly resurrected my Tea Journal. I have managed to stop acquiring things, finally.

..on a related note, I was seized last night with the sudden desire for a violin. x_x I even found some online/at the local music shop for reasonable prices. Hmm. But it is rather hard and I would be bonkers to try it, more than likely. Kit plays and recommended (highly) some sort of instruction though she says that attempting to learn it on your own is not impossible or unheard of. I just could not shake the idea from my head. Still pondering it, but waiting a bit to see if I can manage. I would have to get something to deaden the sound. It would more or less be a secret.

HMM.

I keep thinking that it is Friday and then I realize that it is Thursday, which while usually cause for celebration has resulted multiple times in my thinking disappointedly to myself, "Oh."

The week was going pretty swimmingly-ish. Or at least, whatever frustrations I did encounter I was able to handle without much self-inflicted drama (meaning thinking overmuch and wondering inwardly about things until I frittered away my free time with worrying). Then in the space of twelve hours I got hit with, well, drama is the only apt word (times three even). I realized though, and perhaps this is something important that I do need to realize/address, that my thoughts and reactions are my own and that while certain people and behaviors are annoying, they do not dictate my response. I can choose not to react overly emotionally, to get sucked in.

My exercise regimen sort of imploded during the past week. I had to be careful of my back though. Been walking or riding my bike a bit since they are fairly gentle forms of exercise. Just caught myself slouching. >.>...

Looking out my window, I am really appreciating the street that I live on. Sure, it's noisy. I do have a buffer of a few car spaces and various trees and sidewalk (as well as being on the second floor) so it is not as if the road is right upon me. It can be quite noisy though, especially on the weekends late at night with haloo-ing etc.. But it is also nice to be able to stand at the window/door and to look out and watch bikes, pedestrians and cars (and hummingbirds) go by. It would be different in a quiet room in a house removed from busy streets. It sounds lovely, but here, even if I do not go very far or if I spend the weekend near to my desk, I can still be close to activity of some sort. I never feel completely removed from society, even if I have no idea who any of these people are (most of the time).

I currently have an impressive stack of books for "research" purposes. I was going to try to make a skeletal outline for the book/project/thingy I am working on though I keep having turns of mind that cause me to scribble or backspace or rethink something. I like to have A Plan before proceeding, but sometimes that is not entirely possible. At some point, I will likely be at a place where I am comfortable discussing it, though not at the moment. There is so much work to be done. Trying to fit in time for this as well as practice is seriously challenging some days.

But I did turn another corner practice-wise yesterday evening. I played something at tempo that did not sound like crap to me or like bits of it were so-so timing-wise. I just hit it and it worked, at least once which is cool even if I did not replicate it again all evening. Still, a breakthrough. Basically, the fingers of my left hand are more responsive/quicker. I do loads of maddening finger exercises. They are not as bad as some of the ones I have seen out there though. They can be meditative and enjoyable, especially when you begin to master them and play them to speed.
How anyone can tolerate Czerny finger exercises though is beyond me! They're mind numbing. There are all of these methods and dusty books written over a hundred years ago or more that set forth the "proper" way in which you should approach the study of classical piano. And mad debates occur online between people who swear upon one or the other. And who swear that doing one will bust your fingers/give your carpal tunnel/drive you crazy!
It is fun to just sit and read people getting worked up about it. Basically you need to speak with people/have a tutor who have experience and exercise common sense. Don't play until you are in pain or play seven days a week even if the thin, powerful muscles in your forearms are throbbing.

It is a bit warm this evening.
There was a chance of thunderstorms at the end of this week, but it is dwindling now. :(
Thunderstorms are rare here. I really miss them. I have mp3s of rain storms for when I really get dragged down by Summer heat and dryness.

I need to remember to "check in" for myself and not just to broadcast to friends. It has been almost a week since I posted in here and I have not written in my handwritten journal in a couple of weeks. (That one was supposed to be a weekly check in, to see how I am coming along from a longer term lens.) I also need to update LJ. Haha. Been busy.

I get perspective when I come on here. I am trying to let go of the performance a wee bit and just write in there what I would post here. I am going to cross post once I get the hang of that.

Want to take a second to say that I love my room/space. It is vibrant, active (a little chaotic) and unequivocally mine. It reminds me of something that I would see in an episode of Doctor Who, something designed and well-thought out to be a sort of ideal representation of the person occupying it. I rest here, draw power and strength from it. It's great. I like to stop and appreciate it every once in awhile.

I had two amazing practices last week and today was not so amazing. I think that I need more variety or something. I am practicing the Bach over and over, not merely to repeat it endlessly, but in thoughtful way. I think that I might need to choose a different project and revisit it. I can play it all the way through now at a nice tempo mainly error-free. I don't want to beat it to death because , pretty though it may be, I am getting a little bored with it.

Saw a performance on Picnic Day of Beethoven's 3rd Piano Concerto by a pianist who attends a conservatory on the East coast: Nathan Cheung. He's stunning! He actually plays with feeling and expressiveness. I think that he will go far. We were seated on the left so that we could see most of the orchestra and the pianist. I got to watch his fingers flying up and down the keyboard. I was most impressed with how he played slowly though. Playing fast isn't difficult once you strengthen your fingers and get used to the variety of motions. It takes time to work up to, but it isn't the most challenging aspect. I am still working on that, obviously, along with everything else. But he played very beautifully at any speed! It was such a pleasure and a treat. It was FREE. :O

( Moar Babbling )

The weather was nearly hot on Saturday!

Doing a dump of story ideas, but need to do more.
Maybe need a pep talk concerning the novel as well as piano.

I'm doing all right though.